How To Build Listening Skills and Follow Directions in Toddlers (Without Yelling or Repeating 10 Times!)
Ever feel like you’re talking to a tiny wall? You ask your toddler to put on their shoes…and instead, they run off with one sock and a banana.
You’re not alone.
Teaching toddlers to listen and follow directions isn’t just about obedience—it’s about brain development, trust, communication, and connection. The good news? With gentle guidance, fun activities, and the right storybooks, you can help your toddler become a better listener without power struggles.
In this blog, we’ll explore:
- Why toddlers struggle with listening
- Gentle strategies to build listening skills
- How to help toddlers follow directions (even two-step ones!)
- Storybooks and printables that support listening & following
Why Do Toddlers Struggle to Listen?
At ages 1–3, toddlers are still developing:
- Auditory processing skills (understanding what they hear)
- Impulse control (resisting the urge to run, jump, or grab)
- Short-term memory (remembering the second part of your sentence!)
- Emotional regulation (handling the feeling of “I don’t want to!”)
Add big emotions, curiosity, and wiggly bodies into the mix—and it’s no wonder they sometimes ignore us!
But don’t mistake this for “bad behavior.” Toddlers aren’t trying to frustrate you. They’re still learning how to listen.
Gentle, Effective Ways To Build Listening Skills in Toddlers
1. Get Down to Their Level
Eye contact helps toddlers tune in. Instead of yelling from across the room, kneel down, gently touch their shoulder, and say their name.
Try this: “Ella, I have something to tell you,” (pause and wait for eye contact), then continue.
2. Use Fewer Words and Shorter Sentences
Toddlers often tune out long explanations. Keep it clear and direct:
“Shoes on, please.”
“Hands in lap.”
“Time to clean up.”
3. Model Listening First
Let your toddler see you listen. When they talk, pause what you’re doing and truly listen. Respond thoughtfully.
This teaches: “Listening is something we do for each other.”
4. Use Play to Teach Listening
Games like:
- “Simon Says”
- “Freeze Dance”
- “Red Light, Green Light”
…are brilliant for building auditory focus and following directions in a fun way.
5. Create Daily Routines with Visual Support
Routine builds predictability—and predictability supports listening.
Use printable routine charts with pictures and simple words so your toddler can see what to expect.
Try this:
Download our Morning & Bedtime Routine Charts to reduce battles and build independence.
Teaching Toddlers to Follow Directions (Even 2-Step Ones!)
1. Start With One Simple Instruction
Before jumping to “Go get your cup and put it on the table,” start with:
👉 “Get your cup.”
Once they’ve mastered one-step directions, add:
👉 “Get your cup and bring it here.”
2. Use First/Then Language
“First we clean up, then we read a book.”
This structure helps toddlers know what’s expected now and what’s coming next.
3. Incorporate Movement
Some toddlers need to move in order to listen! Ask them to hop, spin, or touch their toes as part of the direction.
“Touch your nose, then go find your shoes!”
4. Praise the Effort, Not Just Success
“You really listened when I asked you to pick up the blocks. That was helpful!”
Positive reinforcement helps toddlers feel seen and valued, not just corrected.
Best Storybooks That Teach Listening and Following Directions
“Ellie Finds Her Voice”
A gentle tale about a toddler who learns how to listen, speak up, and follow directions when it matters most.
SHOP NOW
Ellie’s Lilie’s Little Oops
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“Milo’s Big Turn”
When Milo struggles to take turns, he learns how listening helps everyone have fun. Great for social skills + direction following.
All books available on Harnimom.com and Gumroad — with printable discussion guides and activity pages included!
Fun Activities To Improve Listening at Home
“Clean-Up Song Challenge”
Play a silly clean-up song and ask them to follow along as they pick up toys.
“Color Hunt”
Say: “Find something yellow and bring it here!” Add layers: “Then jump three times!”
“Storybook Recall”
After reading a short book, ask simple questions like:
“What did the bunny do after nap time?”
This builds listening and memory skills.
Gentle Tools That Help (Without Repeating Yourself)
- Visual Routine Charts (morning, bedtime, calm-down)
- Printable “Listening Ears” Headband Craft
- Storytime + Discussion Cards to spark conversation after reading
- Reward Tokens for completing directions (without bribes!)
Grab these from the Listening & Focus Bundle – only on Harnimom.com.
Final Thoughts: Listening is a Skill That Grows With Love
Your toddler isn’t ignoring you out of defiance—they’re still wiring the brain pathways for focus, memory, and self-control. With your help, they can become better listeners—one story, one smile, one short direction at a time.
Start today with a cozy story, a clear instruction, and a lot of grace.
You’re building more than good habits—you’re building connection.
Tell us in the comments:
What’s your toddler’s favorite listening game?
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